I can’t count how many times I run into some kind of unexplained scenario in the gym, whether it’s during my cardio or weight session. It never fails - I end up running into a situation where my own personal space is either “invaded” or part of the equipment I‘m using (sometimes all), suddenly disappears. Now, these are all perfectly good scenarios with an explanation to them, however, it gets even stranger when there is no apology, the intention of one, or the simple awareness to acknowledge the fact that some things are just plain out “stupid rude”.
For the sake of your entertainment, I have included a listing of all potential incidents and scenarios that could make your day at the gym miserable. At the very least, they are some of the most popular.
1) It took you lots of time and energy to find the motivation to get your butt to the gym. You drive there and you are mentally prepared to execute your planned routine. As you walk through those double-doors, you are suddenly bombarded by that annoying individual or group that’s always lingering around you, trying to squeeze super-unrealistic gym tips. Next thing you know, they’ve once again shared with you a story that you were never interested in hearing in the first place, and your energy drink already passed through your bladder. Now you’re just hungry and you haven’t even started your routine. This typical scenario is what I call “Pre-Forceful Attention & Demand”.
Pre-Forceful Attention & Demand Solution:
As the individual you are and as aggressive as the situation you may encounter, you have to counter it using the same level of resistance. When the person approaches, do NOT stop walking. This will consciously or subconsciously trigger an alert on your opponent’s psychology. However, considering that most of the time this person has little or no awareness in the first place, take charge of your immediate environment and do not submit to their conversation or behavior. If the situation continues within a matter of seconds, immediately break eye-contact and say the following phrase: “Let me get going on my routine, I’ll catch you in a bit!”. The key word here is “bit”. Bit, meaning NEVER.
2) You arrived at the gym. Everything has been going smooth and you are moving towards your second exercise area. Suddenly, you realize that the only machine you desire to use is occupied by a lonely, tiny little water bottle that appears to have been left filled ¼ of the way. I find this hilarious! It is as if these water bottles possess a magical power and ability to telepathically communicate words like “Don’t use me, I’ve been taken - move on!” I truly do not get this one, but it gets better! As the considerate individual you are, you stand back for 30 seconds or so; you completely scan you area and it appears to be all clear. As soon as you touch it - a person falls out of the sky and says: “Hey! I’m using that”. What? Seriously! This is what I call “Selfish Reservation of Equipment”.
Selfish Reservation of Equipment Solution:
As we all know, not everyone has a backbone or a desire to initiate confrontation. I don’t blame you. I don’t go to the gym to pick fights, I go to train. However, this is just WRONG! Sure, it’s acceptable to place a towel or object such as a water bottle near a machine, for a short amount of time only. Going to the bathroom to respond to nature’s call - NO! Having a conversation outside the immediate area - NO! Using 5 machines at once, and not even letting anyone use any of them - BIG NO! Personally, I’ve gotten as aggressive as kicking the damn bottle 50 feet away, but only after I waited 20 minutes and nearly lost my whole pump. I will only say this once; leaving objects or personal articles on or near a machine for extended periods of time does NOT justify your desired reservation for a machine you are hardly even appreciating in the first place. Don’t take my word for it, but I dare you to try this at a place like Muscle Beach, California. You probably won’t get cursed at, but don’t be surprised if you find your Gatorade inside a trashcan full of crap. I think the best kicker I got in this category was finding a huge duffle bag on top of a bench. As if they were planning on changing immediately before doing chest, on top of the machine? Beats me, but I guess that’s what the lost and found desk is for.
3) Have you ever been doing cardio or weights; the environment appears to be pretty empty around you, and suddenly you have undesired human entities around you? This one is a bit more abundant with females, unfortunately. Unless you’re a guy and your gym’s name is Flamingo Fitness, you probably won’t have much trouble in this area. The truth is that women deal with some crazy stuff in the gym. You have the gym picker-uppers who attend the gym as an alternative to dance clubs they aren’t allowed into anymore. I mean, I do realize some of these guys are a real catch and you’d be insane not to entertain their infamous pick-up strategies like: a) using the only treadmill next to you, even if there are 20 empty ones, b) plain-out staring at you’re a$$ while you’re doing abs on the floor, or c) pick-up lines like “I like the way you wear your skin - followed by a creepy over-extended smile. This is what I call “Lame Effort & Approach”.
Lame Effort & Approach Solution:
Warn the subject in a firm manner, without holding back on what you really want to get across. As with most gyms, you’ll always have that nice meat-head that’s not creepy. He or she will usually have your back if things get out of hand. However, if there’s no one to help - simply punch them in the teeth, and anywhere else you feel like causing damage. Keep in mind, there are plenty of small weights around the gym that can be used as a self-defense weapon. Even the smallest weight can cause some major pain.
4) You arrive at the gym and suddenly a kid who’s name would probably be “Timmy” asks you for training advice - now, this isn’t the bad part. The following week he asks you the same question, slightly rephrased. Just when you think it’s all over, he comes back, again and again. To this day, he lingers around you as if you are the only person they know and acknowledges their existence - followed by variations of the same questions, causing you to bleed internally with agony. This is called “Hopeless Desperate Persistent” syndrome, and although it has not been officially declared as a medical condition, I guarantee it will ruin your day.
Hopeless Desperate Persistent Solution:
Be evasive! Do not make eye-contact with this subject. They are taking up your consulting time as a bodybuilder and trainer, and unpaid time is - well, “unpaid time”! Regardless how much free advise you give this subject, he or she will never learn. Let them keep trying all the supplements in the World and listen to their story about how they are going to get huge on whatever it is they are taking this time. Chances are they will eventually disappear and move on to recreational golf, kite flying - stuff like that. I’m not exactly sure just yet how they disappear, but they just do.
Ok, so I’ve only covered a fraction of what you’ve encountered in the gym as it relates to gym etiquette. I also realize that I have expressed my view on this matter using a slightly sarcastic and aggressive approach. On a very serious note however, I want to make it clear that a gym is like the society and the Globe that surrounds us. It consists of people from all walks of life. There are people we communicate with, people we trust, and people we stay clear from. This is what the gym is like, and my true and serious recommendation is that there are ways in which we can express ourselves in order for others to respect and be a little more considerate about our personal space. In many ways, for many of us, the gym is the only peaceful sanctuary and it is sometimes easy for us to forget that. There’s really no strategic way to lay it out sometimes. As in life - sometimes we simply snap, and in an instant, everything changes about how we intend to do or say certain things. One thing for sure is, you deserve this time in the gym to be yours and “only” yours, and no one or anything should ever come between you and your desired goal.
Make the best out of your work-out and enjoy the things in the gym that can easily make it become your sanctuary.
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